It’s been awhile since I’ve thought about dating. Okay, the extra 70 pounds may have had something to do with the long vacation but it’s equally as true that I put on the weight to hold men at bay.
Worked like a charm. I was everyone’s buddy, mother, sister, anything that was as far away from romantic as possible. The wise one who could listen to what was going wrong in your relationship or celebrate when it was going well. Anything but actually getting out there myself.
But if not now, when? Enough already, I’m willing to go on a few dates, be myself and let it be as big or as small as it turns out to be.
Here’s the thing, I’ve spent so many years putting as much between myself and even learning how to be in an emotionally intimate relationship with a man – financial worries, extra weight, career ambitions. That’s just the short list. Now, that all of my excuses are gone it occurs to me that maybe this is even the first time in my life that I am heading into the dating pool as just myself.
Nothing to prove, not looking for someone to fill a need and nothing I’m ashamed or embarrassed about this time. In other words, I can be myself and even find out what that means.
I can find out who I’d even like to date. I’m not sure I’ve ever asked myself that question. It’s a new day, it’s a new body, it’s a refurbished soul. More adventures to follow.